Alcohol laws changed a while ago trying to stop people from drinking and driving which is considered to be one of Mexico's favorite extreme sport. Fines which where as low as 100dls have now been raised to 2200dls and even worst  while before people could actually drink legally a couple of beers and then drive home safely(as I am yet to know somebody who cant drive after drinking 2 beers) now you simply cant drink. This article wont focus on the idiotic Mexican laws that try to follow the very stupid example of the US(we got the idea for that law from the US) but instead it will focus on Mexicans creative methods for fooling the cops.

Its not enough that the idiotic conservative catholics from Monterrey, Nuevo Leon have to snuff it up to the Texans and establish selling alcohol illegal after 2am(that's actually a very funny law since for instance its illegal to buy alcohol on a Friday night after 2am but its legal to buy it on Saturday, WTF?) but gladly is Mexico a country where the constitution is just another paper nobody listens to anyways, a country where corruption is not a problem, its a way of life. So most establishments sell alcohol well after 2am. The problem is that now there is a 0 tolerance law for alcohol + driving so that means that I cant go to a restaurant and drink a glass of wine and go back driving cause its illegal plus the fine is 2200 dollars or 48 hours in jail.

In theory this shouldn't be a big problem right? since there's a small chance police will stop random cars to check for alcohol and any idiot that's too drunk to drive will show his driving skills very obviously right? Well the problem is the Mexican police have decide to set out barricades in the cities main arteries stopping each and every car that goes through just to smell the stinky drivers breath.

This has been going on for about a year now, that's the idiotically enormous fine but the barricades Ive actually grown up with. So in response for the gigantic fine Mexicans are discovering new ways of fooling the police into thinking they are sober and some of them are very very ingenious and funny ways of getting away with it. Here is a list:

The first and most commonly used has been simply giving money to the police. This was the most common one used since fines where around 100dls the amount of money you needed to get away with it was about 30 or 50dls at the most but now since the fines are way to high the amount of money you need to get away with it is about 400dls so what has happened is that most of the idiotic and corrupt police force will do anything to stop as many cars as possible and even lie about the amount of alcohol in a drivers breath so they can get more and more money.

So these are some of the brand new methods. All have been tried and passed at least by one person I know directly.

Clean your mouth with a napkin. According to this theory the only reason one has alcohol in their breath is because of whats left in the saliva so if you just clean that out most alcohol in your breath will disappear. Found to work by a couple of different people.

Eat something fatty or greasy. Apparently there is some sort of scientific explanation about alcohol being absorbed by fat or grease so by eating something like a chocolate or a cupcake and making sure it goes all around your mouth before swallowing apparently will eliminate most alcohol from your breath.

Rarely do police in Mexico use an official method of measuring alcohol in your breath, like the little straw thing, since that rules out the possibility of exaggerating your situation and asking for more money but sometimes the less corrupt ones will use it. In one case a guy simply stuck his tongue inside the straw and then blew at it, blocking the straw all his breath went outside the straw so the apparatus didn't mark a darn thing and the police had no choice but to let him go.

One of the funniest Ive ever heard was when one guy surprised by the barricade in front of him decided to park his car on the side of the road and jump to the back seat. The police bewildered came up to the car in their motorcycles and found that no one was at the wheel and the only guy in the car was asleep on the back seat. When waken up by the police he said "What, whats going on? wheres my driver?" he later explained to the police that he was too drunk to drive and was being driven home by one of his friends but apparently left him there and ran away after seeing the police. The police kindly drove him home.

Another rather clever method and actually used very frequently is hiring a taxi driver to drive your car home. This can either be before leaving the night club where there are dozens of taxi drivers or whenever you see a barricade on the distance park your car far enough so that the police doesn't see you and then wait for a taxi driver to pass by so he can drive you through the barricade. This should usually cost around 5dls.

Eating something very very smelly. For all of you who think that chewing on some of those bubblegum that makes your breath smell nicer will do the trick your wrong, police can catch up to it rather easily but on the other hand if you eat a piece of onion or clove they will be bewildered by how bad your breath is failing to notice the alcohol in your breath.

Claim your a reporter. Since some newspapers have decided to start taking pictures of officers receiving money and making a whole newspaper article on the subject(and still the government hasn't done much to stop corruption) the police are very afraid of reporters so Ive heard of people pulling out a notepad and a camera and when getting asked by the police guy if they had drunk anything instead of responding they simply took a picture, the police immediately let them go after making him delete the picture. On some rare cases police are not actually corrupt and don't have much to hide so in those cases this wont work.

Due to the fact that most common mouthwash have alcohol(like Listerine for instance has 14% of alcohol) Ive heard of the case where the police claims to smell alcohol in their breath the driver simply blames the mouthwash but since police tend to be the most idiotic people the government can hire they have no idea that mouthwash in fact have alcohol and many times this proves to be a little difficult to prove so don't try this unless you are a good salesman.

Another option is simply convincing the police that there's is something more important for you to do than actually stay there while he smells your breath, you can try and pretend some random girl in your car is about to have a baby or you have to go to the hospital for some strange reason or you have to pee or whatever.

Another far out method is trying to befriend the police. Ive heard of a guy who got away by having small chat with the police and giving him a couple of cigarettes. You can try other things and maybe even some sexual favors if your really needy.